Monday, June 9, 2008

15 Laws for Women to Live by

15 Laws for Women to Live by

Best way to get a man to do something - suggest they are too old for it.

Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

Don’t imagine you can change a man - unless he’s in diapers.

Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.

If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him checkbooks.

If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

If you want a committed man - look in a mental hospital.

Love is blind - but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

Never let your man’s mind wander - it’s too little to be out alone.

Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes; it means that you laugh at his.

Sadly, all men are created equal.

The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn’t ask for directions.

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

Women don’t make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

Psychiatric Hotline

Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline

  • If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
  • If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
  • If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
  • If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
  • If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
  • If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.