A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?" "That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this...when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your finger?"
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A fellow turned to a woman sitting beside him in a bar and said; "Drinking makes you look beautiful, darling."
She looked a little surprised and answered, "but I haven't had a drink yet." He smiled and said, "no, but I have!"
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The Governor made room on his busy calendar to hear the plea of one Senora Rodriguez that her husband be released from the state penitentiary. "What was he sentenced for?" asked the Governor gently.
"For stealing a bread truck," replied the offender's wife, nervously fingering her mantilla.
"Is he a good husband?"
"No," she replied frankly, blushing a bit. "He beats me when he gets drunk, he bullies our children, and he’s unfaithful and really not much good at all."
"It sounds to me as though you're better off without him," said the Governor. "Why on earth do you want him out of jail?"
"Well," she explained, "we're out of bread again."
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Tammy bought a new book recently entitled "What Twenty Million American Women Want."
Seeing the title, Doug grabbed the book out of her hand and started thumbing through the pages.
Astonished and not just a little bit irritated, Tammy stared up at him and said, "What in the world are you doing?"
Doug replies, "I just want to see if they've got my name spelled right."
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At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical, tell jokes, sing, and stay home at night!"
An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want, get a TV!"
