Tuesday, July 31, 2007


Why "MEN DIE FOR WOMAN" ?.... This is the best pics

Little Johnny attending Roll Call

Check this out…..

A teacher always took roll call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem. The first kid sat in the first row was a teacher's pet. He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can."

The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby...if I can, and I think I can."

The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a damn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can and I think I can!

What a prayer

What a prayer ...!!!

Pray before stepping in office !

Monday, July 30, 2007

Anger Management at its BEST

I am sure you just can't stop laughing while reading this...too good.

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, rather take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying "Hello."

I politely said, "This is Joe. Could I please speak with Robyn?"

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f**ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "asshole calling" would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from Verizon. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window which included his phone number, so I wrote down the number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too I said,

"Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes, it is", he said.

"Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.

"Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse. It's a yellow house, andthe car's parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"


"Don, you're an asshole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an idea. I called asshole #1.


"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"Asshole, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.

Then I called asshole #2.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hello, asshole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

Anger management really works...

News Headlines in 2020

Paper Art: Part 4

Bush did it again

Bush puts his foot in it, again!

Air Force One arrives at Heathrow and President Bush strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen.

They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of Central London where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on towards Buckingham Palace waving to the
thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well.

Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth-shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire.

The smell is atrocious!

Both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs over their noses. The fart shakes the coach but the two dignitaries of state do their best to ignore the incident.

The Queen turns to President Bush, "Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I am sure you understand there are some things that even a queen cannot control."

George Bush, always trying to be presidential, replies, "Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought. Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses."

Friday, July 27, 2007

Why Integration Testing is IMP

Why Integration Testing in Important

Boss Will Be Boss....

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Great Lessons Of Life

Smile well and often, it makes people wonder what you've been up to.

Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.

Progress always involves risk. You can't steal second with your foot on first.

Never let your memories be greater than your dreams.

Every success is built on the ability to do better than good enough.

What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.

Sometimes people don't hear you until you scream...

A ship in harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.

The most difficult thing for people to say in 25 words or less is good-bye.

Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.

Life's most persistent and urgent question is: What are you doing for others?

I use not only the brains I have, but all I can borrow.

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

When you're through changing, you're through.

Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got.

The person who would like to make his dreams come true must stay awake.

A strong, positive attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug.

There is only one way to get anybody to do anything… That is by making the other person want to do it.

Experience is the hardest kind of teacher. It gives you the test first and the lesson afterward.

All About Mistakes.....

If a barber makes a mistake, It’s a New Style


If a driver makes a mistake, It is a New Path


If a engineer makes a mistake, It is a New Venture


If parents makes a mistake, It is a New Generation


If a politician makes a mistake, It is a New Law


If a scientist makes a mistake, It is a New Invention


If a tailor makes a mistake, It is a New Fashion


If a teacher makes a mistake, It is a New Theory


If our boss makes a mistake, It is a New Idea


If an employee makes a mistake, It is a 100% MISTAKE

Paper Art: Part 3

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Y chocolate is better then sex

Here is a list with 26 reasons for you to prefer the chocolate then sex. To eat chocolate is 4 times better then to kiss:

  1. The chocolate satisfies when critical exactly.
  2. You can eat chocolate in the car, without being interrupted by the guard.
  3. You can eat chocolate in the front of your mother.
  4. If you to bite it with force, the chocolate do not cry out and she does not complain.
  5. Two people, of the same sex can eat chocolate without being called by ugly names.
  6. Chocolate does not complain if you eat it very fast.
  7. You can ask for chocolate to somebody without taking him covering the face.
  8. Chocolate smears, but it does not leave one with mourning.
  9. You do not need to lie for the chocolate.
  10. The chocolate does not bind if you are virgin or not.
  11. You can eat chocolate without caring of menstrual cycle.
  12. You can eat chocolate in any day of the week.
  13. A good chocolate is easy to find.
  14. You never thought , whether it is very young or very old to eat chocolate.
  15. When you eat chocolate, the neighbors do not hear.
  16. The size of the chocolate does not matter, only what matters is the pleasure that it provides.
  17. The chocolate smells well.
  18. It is neither difficult nor aches, to eat chocolate for the first time.
  19. You can take the chocolate in the stock market, pocket and even though in that hip-pocket that you use.
  20. You can eat chocolate to the will, that never goes to engraver.
  21. Chocolate does not transmit illnesses.
  22. You do not need to use condom to eat chocolate.
  23. If your son comes to eat chocolate, does not make you ask contradictory questions.
  24. Nobody finishes marriage due to chocolate.
  25. You need not to wait for one hour almost to eat another one.
  26. The chocolate will not feel you guilty when you speak about the wonderful chocolate that you have eaten in Lawn.

Monday, July 23, 2007

The Bath Tub Test

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.


During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

" No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window? "

Paper Art: Part 2

Paper Art: Part 1

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Boys will be boys -

A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to introduce themselves with name and hobby.

She said, "Let's start with the boys first."

Boys start giving their intro...

First boy: " My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub ."

Teacher was confused to listen but said, "Interesting. Well, Ok. In fact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So it's ok John.

Yes next."

Second boy: " Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub.

"Teacher now got surprised and said, "Good. I like the spirit of supporting a friend.

Ok next."

Third boy : "I'm Smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub.

"Teacher: "Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere.

Ok next.

"This continues...and the last boy stands up "I'm Harry and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."

Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach un-grown boys for long.

Anyway, now the girls please."

First girl: "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds."

Teacher: "Good. At last I got something different. Ok next."

Second girl: "I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes."

Teacher "Now it's like educated grown up girls. Ok~next. You sweet girl;

Yes you..."
Most beautiful girl of the class:

"Mam, my name is Bubble, and my hobby is to take bath three times a day."

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Have you ever seen an animal running on water ??

Have you ever seen an animal running on water ??
It requires a speed of 85 k.m.p.h. with a foot placing of 1 inch to walk on water. So what ??
See the photograph !!

Monday, July 16, 2007

10 ways to stop....

10 ways to stop those credit card sales, idea/hutch/airtel , insurance calls etc ... (no offences PLz)

1. After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you.
2. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.

3. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

4. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

5. Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child.

6. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up...louder...louder...louder!

7. Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down.

8. If they start out with, "How are you today?", say "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems............"

9. Cry out in surprise, "Helen, is that you? I've been hoping you'd call! How is the family?" When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking. This works especially well if the telemarketer is really MALE.

10. Tell the HSBC call center guy to call on your office number. - and give him the ICICI call center number.

Technology on street..

A techie transfers fund for a penalty from his laptop near Trinity Circle in Bangalore on Tuesday....